Monday, December 24, 2007

the radiator hums

Merry Christmas! I just got done playing WOW and Beth is watching a Harry Potter movie. Life is good. We have a critter in our wall, and it is unclear whether it is dying or flourishing. Every time I use the john, I give the wall a little tap and imagine that every little scratch is a feral attempt at wishing us holiday cheer.

My brother gave me Boys in the Hood on dvd for Christmas, so I don't think I really need anything else. I like Cuba Gooding Jr. There I said it. I love it anytime he freaks out on screen (see Rat Race and that Hanes commercial with Michael Jordan).

We also got a hard copy of Pinback's Autumn of the Seraphs for Christmas, so I could finally look at the lyric sheet to see whether Rob sings "cut the cheese too deep" or not. I found out he says "chase" and not "cheese" much to my disappointment.

The weather outside is gelid (frightful), so I recommend staying inside and watching a dvd copy of Boys in the Hood or Akeelah and the Bee (see Michael Showalter).

Friday, December 21, 2007

rock, paper, scissors

Tonight I faced a regional champion in rock, paper, scissors. It was an intense battle, but in the end I came away as the disputed champion. Be prepared for this game to usurp poker's spot as the national fad "sport."

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Something Old


Here's something I wrote back in September:



Sometimes with my Ipod I shuffle songs, and sometimes they all sound tired or aren't songs that I want to hear at the moment. However, sometimes the mix sounds vital and gets me "pumped" like the new Fall Out Boy does for the weightlifting steakhead in the Verizon VCast commercial. Today was one of those times for me, and here is part of the list that played.

1. Engine Down--"Intent to Pacify"
Though this song isn't as affective to me as it once was, I still love it, especially turned up loud enough to blow out my tympanic membranes. Keely Davis' voice is emotive and mournful, and the drums are muscular and relentless.

2. L'Altra--"So Surprise"
I think it is pretty awesome that two people who cannot sing very well can still make such a delightfully nuanced and listenable album. "So Surprise" happens to be one of the most compelling and strong tracks on this album.

3. Bound Stems--"Excellent News, Colonel"
I listened to this track twice. This band took a while to grow on me, and I'm glad I came back to Appreciation Night enough to allow it to take hold. This song may be one of the best entry points for listening to this band.

4. Aloha--"A Hundred Stories"
Aloha is my favorite band at the moment... well along with Menomena. I've found That's Your Fire to be a little unlistenable lately for various reasons, but this song was just right today. It is fast and intense, complete with percussion madness breakdown.

5. The Fire Theft--"Summertime"
Just when I had forgotten about his album, here comes "Summertime"--one of my favorite songs from The Fire Theft. Enigk's voice starts out low and soothingly textured and moves to his slightly more manic, higher-pitched vocals by the end of the first verse.

6. Elliot--"Land and Water"
This track is from Song in the Air, and this album never really caught on with me. False Cathedrals has been making a comeback with me (thanks, Chad!), and I feel ready now to give Song in the Air another chance.

7. Spoon--"Reservations"
I am still discovering how Spoon's catalogue is great from top to bottom (I celebrate it as I do with Michael Bolton's catalogue); it is full of great pop songs, and this track from A Series of Sneaks is no exception.

8. Jeremy Enigk--"World Waits"
Then the non-sentient nono-circuitry of the Ipod tapped into Data the Android's emotion chip and sensed/empathized with me, knowing somehow that I needed more Enigk. This song complemented "Summertime" quite well, yet it gave me some new dimensions of Enigk as well.

At this point, "Naked Sun" by Trail of Dead came up, and I immediately vetoed it. I cycled through a few more undesireable tracks, and the heaven-sent mix finally continued with Trail of Dead's "Sunken Dreams." I guess I was destined to listen to a Trail of Dead song, and as I have learned on Lost, the universe has a way of course correcting itself (Is Charlie going to die?).

Friday, December 14, 2007

Ever wanted to know how many five year olds you could take down in a fight before their sheer numbers overwhelmed you? Well now there is a sound, scientific quiz you can take to find out--

five year olds

here is how many I could take down:
22

Looking for payday loans?



now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

A Chilean Vineyard

a Chilean vineyard

I do not abolish the dirt; I make it nomadic using dirty mop tentacles. As I am doing this, an elderly woman on a mission approaches me.
“Sir?” she asks with a tenor of condescension. “Where do these grapes come from?”
“Um…” I am always a little stunned by this type of question. “Chile, I think. But let me check.”
Before I can make for the back room, she pulls on my arm, and her eyes shift back and forth as if she is about to impart some privileged information.
“Because in other countries, they often urinate on their crops for irrigation.”
Shocked and without retort, I finally close my gaping jaw and bolt to the sanctuary of the back room.
“Be right back,” I mumble almost inaudibly. I imagine a chorus line of Chilean men peeing on beautiful vines laden with grapes and giggle uncontrollably. “¡Más agua para las trabajadores, por favor!” No one is around to laugh about this with me. “Is this real?” I think to myself. I remember the blue agave fields in Mexico and the verdant cauliflower valley in Colombia with the spindly arms of irrigation reaching across their expanse, and I begin to get angry. “They irrigate their crops the same they do anywhere else,” I think, incredulously.
“Yeah, Chile,” I tell her. She doesn’t say another word, and she passes the beautiful green and red grapes by, afraid of the invasive bouquet of urine ruining their heavenly taste. I probably should have divested her of her belief, but I thought, “No, go ahead and keep living in this delusional world you’ve created.”

Monday, December 10, 2007

My dad and my brother made me aware of this music video by Bat for Lashes. I don't know anything about this group, but I really like this video.

Friday, December 7, 2007


So I was on the road a couple days ago, and I saw Sauron driving a late nineties model Chevy Cavalier. Well at least the license plate told me it was him. I don't think Sauron would be a very good driver if he only can see using that huge flaming eye for two reasons:

1. He is always searching for Frodo and the ring rather than keeping his eyes on the road. And don't get me started on how he drives when he jumps on his cellphone too.

2. Also, only having one eye impairs depth perception, so we can only assume that Sauron rear ends a lot of people.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Christmas Steps

Mogwai is one of my favorite bands, and I've recently been revisting their albums, mostly due to seeing this video of the song "Christmas Steps." I have yet to see them live, and I hope they tour the U.S. again sometime. They actually use dynamics in their music, and just when you think they can't get any louder, the amps hit 11 (Nigel Tufnel would really like this song).  Also, one of their songs is entitled "Kids Will Be Skeletons," which is pretty nice and dark yet funny.



So I made a top 13 list of my favorite Mogwai songs:

13. Secret Pint
12. Acid Food
11. Sine Wave
10. Stanley Kubrick
9. Tracy
8. Glasgow Mega Snake
7. Friend of the Night
6. Hunted by a Freak
5. Small Children in the Background
4. Rage: Man
3. Travel Is Dangerous
2. Christmas Steps
1. Ratts of the Capital

I'm probably forgetting one, and you might be thinking, "What?! No 'Like Herod' or 'Mogwai Fear Satan'?" Yes, I like those songs, but they don't make the list for me.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Parade of Parenthetical Statements

Well, here it is, then. I am planning on writing an entry every day, damnit. I want to review things and basically just write whatever I please, so just deal with it, buddy. As a demonstration of good faith, here is a spontaneous review of my plugged up ear: It sucks. Expect more florid literary output in the near future as I turn a critical eye on the pertinent daily furniture of my life (on which I always stub my toe and over which I trip ((hot damn, look at that steadfast refusal to end a sentence in a preposition, even when writing for an informal purpose {I think the third parenthetical statement within a parenthetical statement within a parenthetical statement should get the ornate-looking bracket things, so the order is ")" "))" and "}."}))).